Friday, December 31, 2010

Relationship Advice For Women Five Tips On Avoiding Heartache

As you’ve probably noticed, there’s no shortage of relationship advice for women on how to get a boyfriend or deal with relationship problems. The lack seems to be somewhere in the middle: how do you avoid bad relationships in the first place?

Know who you’re looking for

When it comes to our love lives, most of us spend way too much time trying to be attractive to men in general and not nearly enough on deciding what type of man we’re really trying to attract. I’m not counting those fantasies about the tall, dark, and handsome wealthy investment banker who spends his weekends pirating on the high seas, either. I mean really thinking about the important character attributes of your ideal guy.
Watch out for major contradictions in your expectations, too. For instance, if you love the strong silent type, don’t complain when your macho man has a hard time sharing his feelings.

Establish your boundaries

Boundaries, popularly known as “deal breakers,” are your signals to leave a relationship ASAP. They’re things like physical abuse, criminal background, and addictions.

Here’s the thing, though: you need to decide what your boundaries are before you get involved with anyone. Once you’re romantically and physically involved—or even worse, financially entangled—it’s way too easy to start making excuses for his behavior.

One good piece of relationship advice for women is to share your deal breakers with a friend. That way, when you call her up to complain, she’ll give you a nudge by saying something like, “But didn’t you swear you’d break up with any guy who did that?”

Learn the warning signs

Tired of getting hurt by the same things over and over again? Most likely your man radar is broken. To fix it, learn the early warning signs that can

show you when your love interest is likely to be a cheater, physical abuser, alcoholic, or whatever else it is you want to avoid. This way you can filter out the noise and focus in on the good men. If you need pointers, relationship advice for women who’ve dealt with these kinds of guys can help you out.

Listen to your gut

How many times have you heard this one? Well, it’s one of the most often repeated pieces of relationship advice for women because it’s so true. In relationships, more than anywhere else, a gut feeling alone can tell you when things just aren’t going to work out. Don’t ignore your instincts.

Beware of instant attraction

Just about all of us have met at least one woman who swears she knew she’d found her soul mate the moment she set eyes upon the man who’s now her husband. It does happen. Chalk that one up to instinct, too, I guess.

More often, though, instant attraction eventually leaves you dazed and miserable from a whirlwind affair that crashed in less than a month. If you feel yourself irresistibly attracted to a man you just met, take a step back and ask yourself why? If you can’t see any major stop signs, go ahead and get to know the guy, but take it slower than you normally would. A strong initial attraction should make you more cautious, not less.

Before you read any more relationship advice for women, take some time to get clear on your own needs and desires.  

Decide what kind of man you’re looking for and set clear boundaries and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of avoiding heartache in the future.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back This Week

When you’re trying to get your ex boyfriend back, while a cooling-off period can do you both a lot of good, you don’t want to wait too long. Once the memories of all the good times you had together start to fade or he meets another woman, you may have lost him for good. To make sure that doesn’t happen, here’s a step-by-step plan to get your ex boyfriend back fast.

Assess why he left

When you first met, you were both on your best behavior and a lot more tolerant of each other’s quirks. But be honest, after you got more comfortable with each other you weren’t so perfect all the time, were you? Maybe you started to take him for granted or you got a little pushy now and then. Before you can get your ex boyfriend back for good, you need to know what made him leave in the first place.

Fix problems on your end

Once you know what went wrong, you need to find a way to make sure it doesn’t happen again. It’s easy to blame his annoying habits or lack of communication skills for any tensions between you two, but ultimately you are responsible for your reactions to whatever he does. You’ll either have to find a better way to deal with whatever he did that irritated you or decide maybe he wasn’t the right guy for you after all.

Plan your first contact

So, hopefully you haven’t already called him a dozen times and sent six emails titled “Please reply, I can’t live without you.” If you have, the rest of this article may not help you. If not, though, you still have the option of carefully planning how you’re going to get to see him again. Stay away from pathetic excuses and go for something fun and casual like inviting him out with him out with some of your friends to do something the two of you used to enjoy doing together.

Be open and flexible

Once you do get to talk to him, let him do the complaining and you do the listening. That doesn’t mean you should give in to all his demands, but at least hear him out before you jump in with your own opinions.

Remember, even if they weren’t obvious to you, he had good reasons to leave. If you’re going to be a couple again, you’ll need to do some compromising. One good tactic to get him to open up is to ask if he’d be willing to tell you what he felt went wrong in the relationship so you can learn from your mistakes.

You can probably get your ex boyfriend back a lot sooner than you think, but you need to have a proven plan to follow. Some of the free tips online may just backfire on you and make the split permanent. When you choose a proven plan designed by an experienced relationship counselor, though, you can not only get your ex boyfriend back, you can do it without any stress and drama.

For  proven methods to getting your ex back-Click Here! 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Discover The 5 Stages Of A Break Up

The process that comes after a break up can be broken into five primary steps. Each of the 5 stages of a break up are vital to the recovery process. How long each phase will last vary significantly, depending on the depth of the pain that you are dealing with. Understanding that there is a specific set of stages that we follow will help make it easier for you to cope with the healing process. It can take as many as a couple of years for you to fully recover from a serious hurt, but by breaking the break up process into five stages, you can learn how to cope with the loss a little more easily.

1 - First stage is Acknowledgement. In this stage, all that you can really do is acknowledge that the break up is real, without really wrapping your head around what is happening. You may feel all over the place, and the breakup may be taking over every aspect of your life by making you feel completely helpless, vulnerable and overwhelmed.

It is important when you are in this stage, that you think things through, as thoroughly as you can. You should try to stay aware of your feelings, even when you are not able to address them right away. Work through your pain, by focusing on positive things, like writing, competitive sports, drawing, making music, healthy exercise, doing crafts or spending time with people you care about.

2 - Second stage, arguably the most important of the 5 stages of a break up, is to Let It Out. There is nothing healthy about keeping your feelings pinned up for a long term basis. Free yourself from your pain, much more quickly, by opening yourself up and letting things out rather than just pretending to cope and keeping things bottled up inside. You do not have to feel like you are losing control; simply because you are letting your feelings out. Shedding some tears and pouring your frustration out into creative endeavors like writing and painting can be really good for you, so express yourself in a safe and comfortable place during this stage.

3 - Third stage is all about Nurturing. This is the stage where you allow other people to help you with the healing process by offering their own brand of comfort. Take the time to spend time with the people that you most care about. Allow them to offer their perspective, and give them a chance to take care of you. However, a word of caution should be noted at this point.

Many times your loved ones, not intentionally, can hamper your recovery or set your progress back, if they are not careful.You should be aware, that your loved ones are hurting because your hurting. Their TLC (tender loving care), at this stage of your recovery from the break up, should be positive and encouraging, not vengeful and anger at your former lover. If this occurrs you should ask them to refrain from this type of attitude. If they should choose to be negative about the situation, you will continue to heal from your pain much faster; by avoiding the negative contacts and comments.

4 - Fourth stage of the 5 stages of a breakup is the Reward stage or the fun stage. You have been suffering and now is the perfect opportunity to compensate yourself for it. Don't seek revenge against your ex, but satisfy yourself by making yourself feel and look better than ever before. The Reward stage is not about seeking revenge but is rather about rewarding yourself in positive and healthful ways. Let this break up be the beginning of a new and improved you rather than the demise of something worth holding on to unnecessarily.


5 - Fifth and final stage is the Moving on stage. This is where you can finally begin to look at the bigger picture, accepting the situation for what it is and moving on. This is the point where you can see why the break up occurred, who was responsible for what and why, and what has been learned in the process. By this stage, of the 5 stages of a breakup, you are no longer worried about the other person or what they are doing or thinking. You can look at the entire episode as something that happened in the past and move beyond it.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Relationship Depression - Don't Let It Destroy Your Relationship

Relationship depression can be caused by the end of a relationship or the continuation of a bad relationship. Either way it's very tough to get over it and move on to a brighter future.

Tough, but not impossible.

The first thing to do will depend on which is the cause: a bad breakup or a bad relationship.

If it's a breakup you will have to find a way to move on. You should be prepared to spend quite a bit of time on the healing process. Rely on friends and family as well as any activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Now is not the time to be self destructive or wallow in your pain.

If you simply can't seem to shake yourself out of your funk after several weeks or months, you may need professional help. If that's the case don't wait. There is nothing wrong with trying to work through your problems with an objective, professional, third party. You want to feel better as soon as you can so you should be willing to take all the help you can get.

If your depression is caused by the continuation of a bad relationship a lot of the same steps will apply.
 
First you will have to make the hard, brutally honest decision as to whether or not the relationship is really worth saving. For many, this is the hardest step because, more often than not, the honest answer would be no. Very simply it's not worth saving, but most people will bend over backwards to convince themselves and everyone around them; that it is worth saving. That is a lot of work. Trying to 'lie' to yourself and make yourself believe it. No wonder you're depressed.

However, if you believe your relationship really is worth a shot, because you and your partner are really loving, kind, and respectful to each other, the majority of the time, but a bad situation has made comunnicating difficult and put an enormous strain on your relationship. To save it and end the depression,

You will need to figure out how the two of you can work together; to make it through whatever issue is straining your relationship. No matter what it is you both have to remember that this is not the time to be at each other's throats. Too often couples will turn on each other when what they should really be doing is leaning on each other and trying to work together as a team to make it through this rough time.

 If you, or your partner, needs a whipping post you should take up boxing, but don't take your frustrations out on each other.

 The next step in saving the relationship is deciding what the problem is. For example, the solution will be different if you are depressed over a bad breakup than it would be if your depression is caused by problems in your existing relationship.

No matter which is the case, just make sure to enlist the help of a professional if you don't seem to be making progress on your own. You deserve to be happy.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset.

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.
Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Common Reasons for Relationship Breakups

When two people come to share a certain bond, there is no assurance that the bond will remain strong until the end of their lives. Relationship breakups arise when one or both parties feel the need to end the relationship they are in. Love comes into your life, but may leave after a certain period of time. People break free from relationships for many different reasons. This article will explore relationship breakups.

Relationship breakups as mentioned above happen for many different reasons.

Distrust is one. When you commit yourself to a person, you automatically put your trust in that person. You wouldn’t have committed yourself had you not loved the person from the start. The trust you give a person encompasses faith, love, and security. You trust that your partner will remain faithful to you, and will love you wholeheartedly. But sometimes, out of recklessness, or stupidity; trust is broken by the one person you have willingly given it to. Love dies along with trust. Sometimes, when that trust is broken and love is gone, you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. This is one common reason for relationship breakups.
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Another reason for relationship breakups is differences. Usually, when you start a relationship with someone, it's because you have at least one major factor in common with that other person. But sometimes, at a certain point; you or the other person in your relationship will find big differences about you or the other person. Things just aren’t the way they were before and if that commonality isn't there anymore, the relationship may wither and die. As relationships mature, they become comfortable. And as the saying goes; “comfort often breeds contempt.” Even if contempt isn't the right word, boredom often sets into a mature relationship.

When you are put in this situation, you find yourself having a difficulty handling your relationship, your differences. And then you or the other person may want out of the relationship because the relationship has lost its excitement. If the relationship doesn't match your needs or those of your significant other, then that's usually when the relationship will start to sour.

The ultimate reason for relationship breakups is loss of love.

Sometimes, even if things seem to always be right, when love leaves, relationships have to end. It is true that most of the time love is the reason two people got into a relationship in the first place, but it also is the reason why couples drift apart. You may certainly feel so in love with your partner now, and your partner in love with you, but there may come a time, as there have been for others, that love will leave you or them behind. It's an unfortunate fact, but people fall out of love every day.

When love leaves, there is no reason to for you or your partner to stay. It is love that put you together, and most of the time it will be lack of love that will break you apart.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Five Stages of Courtship

In any and all courtships, there are five stages of non-verbal communication that occur. No matter what culture, society, or demographics that a person has, they will always follow these stages in their courtship.
 Let’s take a look at the five stages and what is involved with each one.

The first stage in courtship is getting attention. You want to let people know that you are single and looking. You do this through your posture, movements, facial expressions, clothing, and other forms of communication that are all non-verbal. You are getting attention in a submissive way.

The second stage is learning to read body language. After you have gotten attention, you need to start looking for positive signs from those around you. You are looking for who is responding to your cries for attention. Who recognizes your non-verbal cues and is in tune enough to show an interest in them? These are all things that you will see in the body language of the people that are around you. This can tell you a lot about whom to move on to the next stage of courtship with.

 In the third stage, verbal communication is introduced. Once you know who is interested, you can start talking with them. However, this stage is also mostly centered on non-verbal communication. There are many things that can be implied by simply saying, “Hello” to someone. It is all in body language and tone of voice. You can get a good understanding of how things are progressing by what is not being said. Pay close attention to the non-verbal signs that people are giving off. If you see cues that are saying the person is definitely interested, it is much easier to approach them and say Hello. It is also much less frightening and awkward this way.

The fourth stage of courtship involves physical touch. This stage can be very subtle and start out completely innocently. There could be an accidental brushing up against someone or an accidental touch. The response that is received is what will determine where this stage goes. If the person is not interested in taking things further, their non-verbal communication will clearly display this. They will give off clear signs that they have no interest in what is going on. There are different time frames for this stage to last. It is different for each individual couple and their unique situations.

The last stage in courtship involves adding intimacy and sex to the relationship. Once again, as with the first four stages, the non-verbal cues should be your guide in moving forward in this stage. Cuddling, gazing, stroking, kissing, holding hands and other ways to show and display affection will all present themselves during this stage. If you do not see these signs from your partner, then you are not both ready to move into this stage. When people are intimate with each other, their body language will be very clear. However, their voice and tone will change as well. After all, tone of voice and how we speak can go a long way towards letting our partner know how interested we are in them and how much we desire them and the intimacy that is to follow.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christian Relationship Advice For Young Adults

Sound Christian relationship advice is even more important today than it was just a few decades ago. Let’s face it, these days navigating the dating minefield is hard enough even for those who do let Hollywood movies and popular magazines dictate their opinion. When you plan to stick to moral values that sometimes go against today’s social norms, though, it gets even more complicated.

To make matters worse, Christian relationship advice isn’t easy to find. After all, the Scriptures are fairly quiet on the subject of dating. If you’re starting to feel lost, here are some things to keep in mind.

Don’t feel pressured!

You and only you are responsible for your behavior. Modern society can be pretty casual about things like club hopping and having “friends with benefits” and it’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want those things.

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong about maintaining Christian values, so don’t let anyone make you feel like “uncool” for doing so. Compromise your morals and not only will you be angry with yourself for it, you’ll end up with a relationship you’re not happy with. There really isn’t anything to gain from it.

Get a Christian perspective!

If you’re getting your relationship advice from a hodgepodge of self-help books and daytime talk shows, well, you’re bound to get confused. If you want solid Christian relationship advice, seek out material by and for Christians.

Advice on things like breaking up, dating someone of a different denomination or a non-Christian, and how far to take physical intimacy are all going to be a little different coming from a Christian than from anyone else. After all, that’s the whole point of Christian relationship advice. That’s not to say you should only read material written by Christians, of course. Getting a different perspective is useful, too. Just make sure you consider the source before you actually take the advice.

Hang out with other Christians!

Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But do you actually do it? If you want to date Christians, you’ve got to go where the Christians are. When you’re busy with school, work, and other responsibilities, though, it’s easy to forget to set a side time for that. You need to make a point of looking for Christian volunteer activities and fellowship groups where you can meet some new people.



Date for marriage!

If you’re dating because you want to find a life partner, dating specifically for marriage will save you both time and a whole lot of heartache. Keep in mind, too, that just because a Christian isn’t dating just for the chance to sleep around, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re dating for marriage.

They may just be dating to have some fun on the weekends. Don’t be shy about asking your date if they’re currently looking for “the one.” If they’re not and you are, you may want to stop seeing them and look for someone more marriage minded.

If you’re hoping to find a fulfilling, loving relationship with another devout Christian, have faith that there’s someone out there looking for someone like you, too. With a little determination and some trustworthy Christian relationship advice, you stand a pretty good chance of finding them.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

10 Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Fast

Some romantic break ups just aren't meant to be, and are worth trying to repair.

Are you trying to get your ex husband or ex-boyfriend back? The first thing that you need to do, is to determine whether or not this is actually what you want to accomplish. Once you have made up your mind and have decided that you want to get your former boyfriend or spouse back, then some of the following, ten ways to get your ex boyfriend back, may be able to help.

1 - Take the time to figure out why the breakup occurred. Is there something that you can change? Sometimes people get comfortable in their relationships and let themselves go, and all it takes to repair this problem is to discover what it is and make a change.


2 - Never personally tell him that you want him back. The odds are, he is missing you too. Play a little bit hard to get and let him remember why he misses you and wants you back. Whatever you do don't overplay this card, as it could have disastrous consequences for you.

3 - Take a look at how you present yourself. Do you make an effort to dress up for your ex boyfriend, or are you too comfortable around him for that now? If you used to dress more nicely and perhaps more provocative, consider going back to that. If you dress to impress, he may find himself wanting you back.

4 - Get a little closer to his male friends to stir up a bit of jealousy. Some times all that it takes is to remind him how much he wants you back by making him a little jealous. However, a word of caution when using this tactic; it could possibly backfire on you.

5 - Think about how you talk to him, in comparison to how you used to talk to him. Talk to him the same way that you want to be spoken to if you want to reignite a romantic feeling between the two of you. Bring back the "sweet terms of endearment" you guys used when you first fell in love with each other.

6 - Ask him out after you have formed a game plan, and show him that you can still have fun together with one another. Don't worry about complicating things by working out the issues now, just show him that you guys can still have fun and watch things reignite accordingly.

7 - Force yourself to be laid back and even confident when you are around him. Do not stress yourself out worrying about talking things through with him. Most guys prefer girls that know what is best for them.

8 - Don't focus on him too hard. Don't outright ignore your ex boyfriend, but take some of your focus away from him and let him wonder about it. Tell him you're busy or just have a lot going on, rather than making it about him. Let him sit and stew, and he may end up being the one rekindling things! Once again don't overdo it.

9 - Act like you know he cares about you, but that you're not all together affected by it. The moment he realizes you're getting over him, he may be much more willing to do the chasing. Let him remember how important you are and see what happens.

10 - Show him that you can have plenty of fun without him. Don't be mean in how you act around former lover, but show him that you're having a good time with your friends and he may remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.

These 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back are not set in stone and you should be flexible. Use your commonsense and allow the truthfulness of your love too shine through and hopefully your ex will be back in your arms before you know it.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

Advice For A Broken Heart Heals Like Magic

Advice for a broken heart can work like magic and help to heal you provided you’re willing to listen and take the advice to heart. The primary thing is to use your common sense as you evaluate the words of wisdom given to you. Read on to find common sense words of healing that come from the heart as well as the brain.

The feelings of loss that come with a breakup can be really intense. Healing a broken heart following the loss of a love can take quite a lot of time. Nothing quite comes close to the sadness and the despair that are felt following the dissolution of a longstanding relationship. Sometimes you are simply going to want to get back with your ex, and sometimes you are going to simply want to forget them completely. Either way, it will definitely take some time for you to handle your broken heart. Regrouping and finding a way to get your emotions in order again is vital.

Rushing into a relationship for a rebound is rarely going to work out on a long term basis. This is the reason why rebound relationships are regarded as they are. Rather than rushing into something that is only to create more heartbreak, it would be wise to settle down your feelings and take things slow for a while so you can feel better. You can date if you feel comfortable doing so, but take it slow rather than rushing into something that will cause harm more than good. Don't get serious too fast if you want to recover from your broken heart rather than allowing it to rule you.

- Pause and take the time to regroup rather than rushing into dating, or rushing into trying to find a replacement relationship. If you come off as too needy, you will appear unappealing to most people out there. Take a dating time out, instead, and allow your emotions to be settled a bit before you make any rash decisions regarding your love life.

- Talk things out. Find a close friend and sit down with them, discussing things as thoroughly as you can. Listen to their advice for a broken heart and take their input to heart. Outside parties can usually be more objective than you during occasions like these.

- Do not try to rekindle things right away. You may feel desperate to get your ex back, but if you act desperately, things will get even worse. If your plan is to get your ex back, relax and take things slow. Play it slow and casual, begin things as friends, then let things develop slowly and only if they are really meant to.

It may be fruitful to date a couple of new people first, settling your emotions and calming your neediness down. Give your ex time to think about you, and to decide what they are looking for in life. When they see that you are doing fine and are not needy, you may begin to appear attractive to them again, which is an excellent way to slowly woo them back into your life. Just take things slow and play it cool, and if it is meant to be, it will. This is the best and most advantageous way to get your ex back, if that is your plan.

As you can see, some of the best advice for a broken heart is simply to give it time to heal and as it does you will indeed be able to move forward with your life.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Relationship Advice For Men Who Want To Keep Their Girlfriends

Okay, so your girlfriend probably won’t walk out on you because you left your socks on the floor, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still a few critical factors that, if ignored, could have her heading for the door. Even if you think you know what makes your girlfriend tick, you may be surprised at some of the things you’ve been overlooking.

Express your love!

I know what you’re thinking: “But I do show my love! I bought her a…” Stop right there. Unfortunately, material gifts and even the amount of time and energy you spend helping go right over some women’s heads. Many women don’t truly feel loved unless they hear the “I love you” fairly frequently.

No, your girlfriend hasn’t forgotten all the nice things you’ve done; she just thinks maybe your feelings have changed since then. Yeah, that’s right: since yesterday. See, the thing is women continually re-assess their relationships. Men tend to get comfortable and assume if there are no fights, then everything’s dandy. That’s exactly how so many guys get blindsided by break ups introduced with “Honey, we need to talk.”

So go ahead and tell her in so many words that you love her. If you have a hard time saying it, write a little note and slip it in her wallet or stick it on the bathroom mirror. If that’s still a little to awkward for you, make a point of thanking her for something routine like making dinner or acknowledging something she’s done well.

Listen!

Imagine starting an important conversation with your girlfriend or wife only to notice her staring into space as you talk. Wouldn’t you feel a little rejected? This is the same situation a lot of women face with their boyfriends or husbands, who often don’t even notice they’re spacing out. When you’re girlfriend talks, try to put aside what your doing and really listen.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have some quiet time to yourself, though. Whether you’re trying to finish a report for work the next day or just want to watch the game, if you gently explain that you’d rather have the chat at a later time, a real lady will give you your space.

Use honesty wisely!

As much as we may want to believe honesty is the best policy, anyone with a little life experience will tell you it isn’t always. While outright lies are a no-no, a little tact and diplomacy can go a long way towards keeping peace in the house.

What that means is the correct answer to “Do I look fat in this?” is not “No, you look 10 pounds lighter,” but something like “Can’t say. You look good to me no matter what you wear.” Sound corny? Try it sometime and I bet you’ll like the result.

Being tactful doesn’t mean you should keep quite about things that really bother you, though. It’s better to bring problems to light in than let your resentment simmer and risk blowing up at her one day.

When both partners are willing have a little patience and keep an open mind, love relationships don’t have to been filled with frustration and drama. Get some good relationship advice for men, from the right source and your relationships should be smooth sailing from here on out.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Who Can Help Me Save My Marriage

Feel like you’ve exhausted every option you could think up on your own and you just want to storm into some marriage counselors’ office as shout, “Help me save my marriage? Please!” Except for the shouting part, you’re actually on the right track looking for advice from some place other than your own head.

Friends!

If you have any friends who’ve managed to dodge an impending divorce, ask them how they did it. Don’t just think about friends your age, either. Older couples can be a goldmine of advice on working through marriage troubles.

Even if they seem to have a perfect relationship now, you might be surprised to hear what they’ve gone through. Of course, the problem with asking friends for advice is their experience is limited to what worked for them. What worked for them won’t necessarily work for you, though.

Online Forums

The Internet is great place to find information on just about everything and marriage is no exception. The advantage of getting advice from forums is that you can ask questions anonymously and get opinions from a variety of people who’ll most likely have very different view points from you. The drawback is that you won’t get a truly useful response from one “help me save my marriage” post. The lack of real-time interaction means you don’t get the back-and-forth dialogue you’d need to really get to the root of your problems and find a workable solution.

Marriage counseling!

It’s one of the first thing well meaning friends ask when you admit your marriage is on the rocks: “Have you thought of counseling?” There’s good reason for that. A professional marriage counselor has training in resolving marital conflicts and many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems.

The trouble you usually run into here is that one spouse doesn’t want to go. Usually, that partner believes the marriage has already flat-lined and any attempt to revive it is a waste of time and energy. If you’re partner feels that way, don’t give up just yet. While you want to avoid pressuring or begging, simple logic can work wonders.
Counseling can help, of course, but it’s not a cure-all. Did you know the average marriage councilors’ success rate is only around 30%? That’s hardly enough to make it worth shouting “Help me save my marriage!” at the counselor.

Self-help books!

If you’ve been looking online for tips, you’ve probably run into a few of those ebooks that provide guidance for working through a rough patch in a marriage even when one partner is ready to call it quits. They may not seem like much, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly effective.

Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced marriage counselors who found a “formula” for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors.

For a great online source to save your marriage-Click Here Now!
 
Whatever you do, don’t delude yourself into thinking the problems between you and your spouse will disappear of their own accord. It’s not enough to sit and wonder “Who can help me save my marriage?” You need to decide where you’re going to go for sound advice and act on that advice as soon as possible.
 
The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Relationship Couples

I'm not that old, so I don't know for sure, but it seems like these days we make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. That is especially true when it comes to relationship couples seem to find it so hard to figure out the problem and many times the problem is a small and simple thing.

One analogy I often use is that of a stone wall. Think of your relationship. Every time you do or say something that hurts or annoys your partner, it's like adding another stone to the wall. A couple stones here and a few stones there don't matter all that much, you can still easily step over the wall to be close to your partner.

And, if you apologize, and make permanent changes, to the behaviors that caused your partner pain or annoyance, you can even remove a stone sometimes.

But if you do like most couples do, and you continue to add stones after stones after stones, and you don't remove any, you will find it virtually impossible to connect with your partner. By that point it will be very difficult and maybe even impossible to tear down the wall and have a meaningful relationship with your partner.

The trick is to make sure your wall never gets too high. How? Easy, talk. Just talk, don't yell, don't shout, don't accuse...talk.

It's very important each person in the relationship remembers that the other person has feelings too. When you are hurt and upset it's very easy to make everything all about 'you'. That won't work.

If you take the time to realize that your partner has their point of view and remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with right and wrong, it's simply about recognizing that each person has their own view of what has happened and you need to let them express that view without getting defensive or upset, you might actually find that you are on the same page...just a different sentence!

I've had that very same experience. My spouse and I had very heated discussions but once we calmed down and actually talked, and listened, we realized though we were saying it in different ways we were both saying basically the same thing!

Once you come to that place it will help you take a stone out of your wall and it can also help you in the future if you can remember that you and your partner probably aren't all that far off from each other, you're just expressing yourselves differently.

For the most part no matter what your age, gender, religious, or sexual preferences, everyone wants to feel love, respected, appreciated, and understood. You want that and so does your partner, when it comes to relationship couples will be much better off if they never lose sight of that. If you try to deal with your partner with those things in mind, and they do the same for you, your relationship will be much smoother, and there will be a lot fewer stones in your wall.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tips on how to Get Over a Breakup

Love or lust?
 
Are you sure that you and your partner have been sharing an authentic romantic relationship? Sometimes, a relationship is based more on lust than true love. In this case, it may still hurt a little bit when it's over, but it's much easier to get over the breakup. If it was true love, then the tips that follow should answer your question of “how to get over a breakup?”

It's never pleasant to be in love with another person, only for them to tell you they don't feel the same about you anymore. It's hard when this happens. It's hard to let go of the relationship. When dealing with the subject of how to get over a break up, the first thing you have to do is to switch your way of thinking.


Instead of thinking of your past relationship; learn how to get over a breakup by distracting yourself and shifting your thoughts to some other things. Focusing on your work (but don’t get overwhelmed) may help. If you don't want to throw yourself into your work, then it's time for you to take up a new activity or hobby. Spend some time with friends you haven't been able to hang out with in a long time. Start going to new places, that you may have wanted to go to, but never had the time or the chance to go to.

If you keep an active lifestyle you will be able to forget your ex for a while (and then you will be able to forget them totally). As you allow yourself to be in the company of others and do other activities, you will help yourself heal faster.

Another tip on how to get over a breakup is to talk to someone who you completely trust. You'll be able to talk about all your feelings and emotions with them. Sometimes it helps to just talk and let the bottled up feelings come out. It's better to let your sadness, bitterness, and/or anger come out; instead of bottling it up and letting them eat you up inside. By talking it out with someone you trust, you'll be able to “detoxify” your emotions.

While it's okay to take some time to recoup from a breakup, don't let it ruin your life. It's important that you don't just lie around the house and don't do anything. Use your family and friends as support. Don't beat yourself up mentally over the breakup. The longer you dwell on the relationship and what went wrong, the harder it will be for you to recover and move on.

The best advice on how to get over a breakup, is to make sure you take care of yourself. It may be hard to do, but you have to ensure you're eating properly and you're getting enough rest. Exercise is also a great way to help get rid of some of your negative feelings and will help you feel better faster. If you don't eat properly or get enough rest, you'll feel worse than you already do. After a break up it's hard enough to think clearly, let alone when you are not providing your body with proper sleep and nutrition.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Is There Such Thing As A Remedy For A Broken Heart

Being left alone with a broken heart is the saddest feeling anyone can experience. No one enjoys the pain that seems to accompany a bread up. The more you cared for and loved the other person, the more a break up tends to hurt. Unfortunately, there is no simple solution or remedy for a broken heart. Does this mean you are destined to feel agony and hurt for the rest of your life? No, of course not. You will not be doomed to feel isolated, depressed, and not want to go anywhere or do anything. There are some steps that can help you get over your broken heart.

IThe following are some of the steps which you should take to easily deal with all the pains and hurts that you are feeling deep within your heart. While they're certainly not an instant remedy for a broke heart, if you keep them in mind and with the passage of some time, you should be able to feel better.


1.Control Your Emotions

It is just pretty normal that your emotions after the break up are so intense that you lose control of yourself. There are actually times when you curse the person whom you loved, especially if they were responsible for the break up. Thus, you have to learn how to control your emotions so that you can be sure that you can easily recover from the break up.

It is to be expected that your emotions go on a roller coast ride for a while. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, angry, depressed, etc...The problem comes when you let those emotions take control of your life. If you need to feel sad or cry, then do it; however, force yourself to stop after a few minutes. If you can take control of your emotions, you will be able to get over the break up, easier and faster.


2.Learn To Accept

Try to take an “Everything happens for a reason” attitude. You just have to accept the ending of your relationship with your significant other. Besides, God, fate, destiny, whichever you believe in; probably has a better plan for your love life that you don't even know about. It may be hard to believe this now, but if this wasn't your first relationship, then you know that you can find happiness again, because you've already done it at least once. If you don't learn to accept that it is over, you will only keep re-opening the emotional wounds.

3.Let Go and Move On

Letting go and moving on goes hand in hand. Hence, once you are certain that you have let go of the romantic bond with your significant other, you can move on and start your new better life. After all, breaking up with your significant other is not the end of your world.

Indeed, you can still get rid of the feeling of sadness after the break up even if there is no remedy for a broken heart. You simply have to put into action the aforementioned steps so that you can recover and start a new life. It may take some time, but don't let it ruin your life. Take the good from the relationship, learn from the bad, and move on.

Friday, November 19, 2010

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Losing Your Self Respect

Trying to figure out how to get your ex boyfriend back without becoming “that crazy chick?” Don’t worry, it can be done, but you need to be careful about whose advice you follow. The problem is a lot of women collect every trick in the book and then use them all at once. Can you say, “bunny boiler?”

To help you keep your guy and your self respect in the process, here are some no-stress, no-drama tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back.

Take some time out
 
Whatever you do, don’t act on the emotions you have right after the breakup. Maybe you feel like showing up at his house with a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and pouring your heart out about everything you did wrong. Once you’ve had a few days to gain some perspective, though, you’ll see why that’s a bad idea.

Don’t even so much as IM your ex until you at least feel like you can live without him. When you talk to your guy again, you need to come across as fun and attractive—or at least emotionally stable—or you risk scaring him for good. Think over why you broke up. Let’s face it, when we get used to a guy, we can all become a little demanding, nagging, and overly emotional. Take a long hard look at how you’ve changed since you first met each other and take steps to show your ex you won’t be like that again.

This is another reason most tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back will tell you to rein in your emotions and be more like the fun, confident woman you were when he first met you.

Stay attractive!

You may not know this exactly, but if you have some idea of what it was about you your guy found attractive, play up that trait a little (assuming you enjoy it, too). Maybe you loved to go hiking together or he admired your passion for politics. Whatever it was, get involved with it again and make sure your mutual friends know.

One thing you don’t want to do, though, is start dating again. Your ex might presume you’re no longer interested in him and not even try to make contact even if he does start missing you.

Get good advice!

As you’ve probably noticed, just about everyone has an opinion to give you on how to get your ex boyfriend back. While some of your friends might come up with pretty practical advice, you never know which tip might backfire on you. To keep things simple, look for proven advice from those experienced in mending relationships, such as marriage counselors.

The main thing to keep in mind when you’re trying to decide how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stay calm and not grab at every piece of advice you come across. As long as your ex sees that you really are still the person he used to love; following a proven plan from a professional relationship counselor can bring your guy back faster than you might think.

For a proven plan on getting you ex back- Click Here!Ex Back System<>

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How To Win An Ex Boyfriend Back With Class

Ever had a friend whose best idea for how to win an ex boyfriend back was to show up at his house with a casserole and a list of apologies? Remember how embarrassed you were for her? So, now you’re in the same position and know exactly how she felt, but just because you can sympathize with her doesn’t mean you have to act like her. If you’re hoping to get your guy back without losing your self-respect, here’s what you can do
.
Learn how men think!

The main reason so many of us are willing to do over-the-top things when trying to figure out how to win an ex boyfriend back is because those things work on us. Think about it: gifts, lover letters, persistent phone calls—even if those tactics are annoying, when they come from a man you once loved, they do get to you, don’t they?

Men, on the other hand, just don’t work that way. It may sound harsh, but your guy isn’t going to shed tears of remorse over your heart-felt love letter. In order to avoid doing something that’s going to make you look like some crazy stalker chick, spend some time learning how to communicate in a calm, logical style your guy can relate to.

Accentuate the positive!

Like our friend in the introduction, some women go out of their way to prove to their ex that they can live without him. They start wearing flashy clothes or going to nightclubs even if they don’t feel comfortable doing it. Unfortunately, this trick is pretty easy for a guy to see through. After all, if you weren’t doing those things before you met him, the only reason you’d be doing them after the break up…is him. That doesn’t exactly make you look independent, now does it? Instead of trying to transform yourself into someone else, become a better version of the person you were before you met your ex.

Find things to do together!

You didn’t spend all your time making out, did you? (And if you did, that explains the relationship troubles.) You spent time together on hobbies and activities that you both enjoyed. If you’re looking for a way to see your ex again, this is your in. Say you both belonged to a bird watching club. You could join a different bird watching club and invite him to the first big event they have.

Be honest! 

One of the best tips around for how to win an ex boyfriend back is to simply be mature and reasonable. Whining and blaming your ex for everything that went wrong is definitely not classy. Instead, be the better woman and accept your fair share of the blame—no more, no less.

This means you have to take a close look at anything you might have done to make him want to get away from you. Were you getting a little demanding because you’d started taking him for granted? Were you overly emotional because you felt him starting to drift away and panicked? If so, accept responsibility for your behavior and try to explain what caused it.

Follow these steps for how to win an ex boyfriend back and even if your guy chooses not to return, at least you’ll keep your self respect. Of courses, if you want a truly effective method for how to win an ex boyfriend back, skip the free tips online and look for advice from a successful relationship counselor.

For a truly profession system to winning your ex back- Click Here!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Love Advice Relationship Problems Dont Have To Be Hard To Solve

It’s one of the main topics of love advice: relationship problems. In fact, with all the tips and hints out there, you’d think solving problems in a relationship requires scientific formula you need a PhD to understand.


The reality is, though, when you catch problems early and use plenty of patience and fairness, there are only a few steps you need to take to get things straightened out.

Identify the cause

Sometimes the cause of trouble in a relationship is obvious. It might be problems with money, the kids, or a certain habit one of you has that really irks the other. A lot of the time, though, there’s just a niggling sense that something isn’t right. Maybe there’s less romance, less physical affection, and a feeling of growing apart. In cases like this, you’ll need to look a little deeper to figure out what the root of your problem really is. Knowing this will make it a lot easier to use love advice: relationship problems don’t all have the same cause.

Pick your battles

Give some serious thought to whether the problem is really worth bringing up. You may decide the fact that your partner routinely leaves wet towels on the floor or even occasionally pays a bill a day or two late isn’t something you want to rock the boat over. On the other hand, if something your partner does leaves you feeling hurt or rejected or is causing serious financial or social problems, it’s a good idea to bring the issue up. That way you won’t give resentment a chance to grow.

Time it right

If you’ve decided you really do need to talk about an issue, pick a good time (or at least not a really bad time). Just remember, when one of you is stressed out or tired is not a good time to start a discussion about a serious problem.

Don’t ambush your partner, either. Pouncing on them with a heavy issue just gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset. Instead of the old “We need to talk,” try something less confrontational like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”

Be gentle

Winning is not be the goal here. The goal is improving—or in some cases, saving—the relationship. If one of you is impatient, harshly critical, insulting you both lose.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to talk to your partner like they’re a three-year-old. Just talk to them with the same level of respect you would

Although it may sound like “softy” love advice, relationship problems don’t generally improve when one partner is aggressive.

Accept your share of the blame

Over all, it’s better to focus on solving the problem rather than riding the “Who started it” merry-go-round. That said, you still need to accept that something about your own behavior may need to change, too. Listen to your partner’s side of the story with an open mind and be willing to negotiate fairly. Of course, you still need to keep your personal boundaries as far as not accepting physical or emotional abuse.

Although the steps above should help you work out most common problems, keep reading up on how to resolve conflict in your relationship so you’ll know how to handle any serious issues that may come along. When it comes to love advice, relationship problems are one of the hottest topics, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding some good tips.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships

Communication problems in relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.

Bridge the gender divide!

Men and women approach relationships in distinctly different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.

Listen thoughtfully!

Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.

Release the need for blame!

When one of you has a problem, the relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to work it out peacefully.

Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it too far.


Stick to the facts! 

When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stay with what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your partner already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ. On the other hand, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave you don’t think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.

Be frank, but kind!

You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a “put up and shut up” attitude to problems in relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.

Be a friend, not a coach!

Chances are, your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend and lover.
You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.

There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Learning How to Deal with a Breakup Can Build Character

It is really hard to let go of a relationship that you thought was perfect. Unfortunately, there are a good number of people who can’t let go of their relationship. If this describes you,and you are looking for information on how to deal with a breakup; then read on.

Counselors and love experts have encountered numerous cases of breakups and they have been giving ideas on how to deal with a breakup for many years. While at first, it may seem difficult to apply some of these tips, it's important that you do so. If you don't learn how to deal with a breakup properly, it can cause you a lot of unnecessary suffering and misery.

Learning how to deal with a breakup can be easy., when you have good advice, and you put in some effort and put the advice to use. 

The circumstances of your breakup is still fresh in your mind. The seemingly never ending “WHY?” questions keep your mind occupied almost the entire time you're awake. They may even find their way into your dreams while you sleep. Most of the time, we tend to blame ourselves after a breakup. While, there may be some things you're at fault for in the relationship, it's important that you not beat yourself up entirely about it.

It's important that you not focus entirely on what you did wrong. No one is perfect. You need to think about things the other person did that drove you crazy. What were some of their faults? Did they always falsely accuse you of something? Did they constantly bring up something during an argument that really had nothing to do with the current situation? After a breakup, it's easy to lose sight of the other person's faults. Don't let this happen. It's not uncommon after a breakup to only reflect upon the good memories. You need to remind yourself of the troubles your relationship had too.

This little bit of truth, may really hurt, but someone had to say it: the “but I love and I want back. (*sob)” line is not helpful. Alright you love them; but they broke up with you. Obviously, they don't love you anymore. Most of the time, when someone breaks up with someone else, that's the most common reason given. “I just don't love you anymore.” or some variation of this phrase. You probably heard it first hand. Do you really want someone back who doesn't care about you the way you care about them?

Another good tip on how to deal with a breakup, is for you to use your social support system. There are probably a lot of people who care about you. Friends, family, co-workers, etc...You don’t want to take them for granted, do you? Socializing with them is a good remedy for your melancholic mood. Make new friends. Do a new activity, have fun strolling, go shopping! There are a lot of things to do other than to mope around, watch T.V., or sleep all the time.

Learning how to deal with a breakup can be a character building experience. If you remember that your happiness doesn't depend on another person, you'll recover more quickly. In fact, if you take care of yourself properly and start living your life more fully and more satisfactory to you; and not worry about other people, you will actually make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex. It's kind of ironic, but it's true. The more independent and fun you can have with yourself and your friends, the more someone else will want you to be a part of their life.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Is There Hope To Save A Marriage

With divorce as common as it is these days, it’s easy to understand why so many with marital troubles start to wonder, “Is there hope to save a marriage once it really hits the skids? Is there really no turning back?”
The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce. Not only that, but you can use the opportunity to build an even closer and richer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” is definitely “Yes!”

Second chances work!

In the late 1980’s, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as “unhappy.” The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as “happy” five years later. Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking a deep breath and agreeing to invest some time in working through your problems.

Where’s the love?

Marriage counselors rely on the fact that no matter how much some couples argue, most still have a basic respect and concern for each other. After all, unless you’re in an arranged marriage, you chose your partner because you saw a good amount of positive qualities in them. Those qualities are still there, even though you might not see them as clearly today or other less appetizing personality traits have cropped up in front of them. If you can remember the good times, you stand a good chance of reviving the positive feelings you had for each other and using those as a springboard for making up.

You can change things by yourself!

One of the biggest misconceptions about rescuing a marriage is that both sides have to want to save it. While it’s true that both sides have to give up the idea of divorce eventually, one spouse alone can still take steps to turn things around and buy a little time while the other reconsiders. The reason is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they’ll naturally change their behavior, too, and you start a positive cycle of improvement.

Right advice helps!

The trouble with relying on your own judgment alone to make up with your spouse is that you’re too close to the problem. To make matters worse, this is such an emotionally charged issue that even the most stable, logical person can easily overreact. That’s why having input from a knowledgeable, neutral third party is so invaluable. A marriage counselor is the obvious choice, but if you can’t afford one or your partner refuses to go, there are other sources of advice such as the marriage self-help ebooks available online or at your local bookstore.


Before you start thinking the only answer to the question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” is “No,” take a deep breath and look at the realities. If you can get your spouse to agree to work out your problems together, you stand an excellent chance of avoiding divorce.

Even if you’re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior.

If you want to stay together and are willing to try a provem program-Click Here!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Relationship Advice For Women Five Tips On Avoiding Heartache

As you’ve probably noticed, there’s no shortage of relationship advice for women on how to get a boyfriend or deal with relationship problems. The lack seems to be somewhere in the middle: how do you avoid bad relationships in the first place?

Know who you’re looking for

When it comes to our love lives, most of us spend way too much time trying to be attractive to men in general and not nearly enough on deciding what type of man we’re really trying to attract. I’m not counting those fantasies about the tall, dark, and handsome wealthy investment banker who spends his weekends pirating on the high seas, either. I mean really thinking about the important character attributes of your ideal guy.

Watch out for major contradictions in your expectations, too. For instance, if you love the strong silent type, don’t complain when your macho man has a hard time sharing his feelings.

Establish your boundaries

Boundaries, popularly known as “deal breakers,” are your signals to leave a relationship ASAP. They’re things like physical abuse, criminal background, and addictions.

Here’s the thing, though: you need to decide what your boundaries are before you get involved with anyone. Once you’re romantically and physically involved—or even worse, financially entangled—it’s way too easy to start making excuses for his behavior.

One good piece of relationship advice for women is to share your deal breakers with a friend. That way, when you call her up to complain, she’ll give you a nudge by saying something like, “But didn’t you swear you’d break up with any guy who did that?”

Learn the warning signs

Tired of getting hurt by the same things over and over again? Most likely your man radar is broken. To fix it, learn the early warning signs that can

show you when your love interest is likely to be a cheater, physical abuser, alcoholic, or whatever else it is you want to avoid. This way you can filter out the noise and focus in on the good men. If you need pointers, relationship advice for women who’ve dealt with these kinds of guys can help you out.

Listen to your gut

How many times have you heard this one? Well, it’s one of the most often repeated pieces of relationship advice for women because it’s so true. In relationships, more than anywhere else, a gut feeling alone can tell you when things just aren’t going to work out. Don’t ignore your instincts.

Beware of instant attraction

Just about all of us have met at least one woman who swears she knew she’d found her soul mate the moment she set eyes upon the man who’s now her husband. It does happen. Chalk that one up to instinct, too, I guess.

More often, though, instant attraction eventually leaves you dazed and miserable from a whirlwind affair that crashed in less than a month. If you feel yourself irresistibly attracted to a man you just met, take a step back and ask yourself why? If you can’t see any major stop signs, go ahead and get to know the guy, but take it slower than you normally would. A strong initial attraction should make you more cautious, not less.
Before you read any more relationship advice for women, take some time to get clear on your own needs and desires.

Decide what kind of man you’re looking for and set clear boundaries and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of avoiding heartache in the future.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Love Advice Relationship Problems Dont Have To Be Hard To Solve

It’s one of the main topics of love advice: relationship problems. In fact, with all the tips and hints out there, you’d think solving problems in a relationship requires scientific formula you need a PhD to understand.
The reality is, though, when you catch problems early and use plenty of patience and fairness, there are only a few steps you need to take to get things straightened out.

Identify the cause

Sometimes the cause of trouble in a relationship is obvious. It might be problems with money, the kids, or a certain habit one of you has that really irks the other. A lot of the time, though, there’s just a niggling sense that something isn’t right. Maybe there’s less romance, less physical affection, and a feeling of growing apart. In cases like this, you’ll need to look a little deeper to figure out what the root of your problem really is. Knowing this will make it a lot easier to use love advice: relationship problems don’t all have the same cause.

Pick your battles

Give some serious thought to whether the problem is really worth bringing up. You may decide the fact that your partner routinely leaves wet towels on the floor or even occasionally pays a bill a day or two late isn’t something you want to rock the boat over. On the other hand, if something your partner does leaves you feeling hurt or rejected or is causing serious financial or social problems, it’s a good idea to bring the issue up. That way you won’t give resentment a chance to grow.

Time it right

If you’ve decided you really do need to talk about an issue, pick a good time (or at least not a really bad time). Just remember, when one of you is stressed out or tired is not a good time to start a discussion about a serious problem.

Don’t ambush your partner, either. Pouncing on them with a heavy issue just gives the conversation a confrontational edge from the outset. Instead of the old “We need to talk,” try something less confrontational like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”

Be gentle

Winning is not be the goal here. The goal is improving—or in some cases, saving—the relationship. If one of you is impatient, harshly critical, insulting you both lose.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to talk to your partner like they’re a three-year-old. Just talk to them with the same level of respect you would

Although it may sound like “softy” love advice, relationship problems don’t generally improve when one partner is aggressive.

Accept your share of the blame

Over all, it’s better to focus on solving the problem rather than riding the “Who started it” merry-go-round. That said, you still need to accept that something about your own behavior may need to change, too. Listen to your partner’s side of the story with an open mind and be willing to negotiate fairly. Of course, you still need to keep your personal boundaries as far as not accepting physical or emotional abuse.


Although the steps above should help you work out most common problems, keep reading up on how to resolve conflict in your relationship so you’ll know how to handle any serious issues that may come along. When it comes to love advice, relationship problems are one of the hottest topics, so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding some good tips.